Harness Anger To Ignite Action And Love As The Fuel To Drive Forward
How To Harness Anger To Ignite Action And Love

Harness Anger To Ignite Action And Love As The Fuel To Drive Forward

This week I was pretty mad as the heavens poured forth anger upon me. Another full moon and another round of my emotions in turmoil. I am learning to embrace whatever comes up and witness it from a more positive perspective.

It’s ok to not be ok. I wasn’t ok.

Instead, I was perplexed why this normally peaceful and contented woman should want to vent her spleen at the world.

There was too much animal cruelty. Too many nasty people. There was too much everything, which had me running for the hills, except on Sunday the hunters were in my hills, invading my peace, stopping me walking my dogs and I was mad.

And something that really got my goat was eating a delicious magnum icecream. It wasn’t so much the ice cream, but more how I had got myself into a pickle where I felt it would be ok to eat one instead of a banana.

I had been late for a meeting and so didn’t eat lunch (you know healthy food). Instead, I figured I could get a gluten-free sandwich from a café. I was wrong, and the person I was meeting didn’t even turn up.

Trapped in a sea of emotions, the only life jacket seemed to be ice cream.

In bed that same night I couldn’t sleep because of itching because of the sugar overload. And I was mad at my stupidity.

I felt trapped by this strange feeling. The only two places that felt safe was to go inside to converse with my inner wisdom and to hurl abuse at my journal.

For the few days that followed, something strange to me happened. My normal positive, I can see the good and lessons in everything left me.

Calm disappeared, and I was furious, I had an anger that I had not seen in years. I watched myself get into a tizzy – I became a curiosity to myself. Watching from the outside in.

Strangely I found solace writing about the digestive system and how to craft a diet just for you. I also wrote about checking your poo and urine, along with good questions to ask when your energy dips and your sleep has been overtaken by the dark mistress of unslumber.

Later, when I was no longer engrossed in my writing I sat pondering the anger, the helplessness, the pain and suffering in the world. Anger about the things I couldn’t change. I could only change me and my reaction. So, what was the point of my anger I asked?

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. Og Mandino

Anger is the ignition for action

I realised anger was an igniter. What I did next had to be in love. In love, I could achieve anything. To achieve anything, there needs to be tinder – the situation – the igniter for change – anger and the fuel for change – love. Anger is just an emotion that is igniting something bigger. Not necessarily world-shattering, but something greater than me, and that has to be good.

Working from love

Enjoy the journey. Every day work towards being your best self. Never lose sight of the love that you are.

We may not be able to stop the things that are making us angry. However, it’s well known and well-trodden advice that we can change how we choose to respond.

Think of how much energy it takes to respond with anger. Yeah, loads. We could end up feeling drained of energy and unable to think clearly. If instead (after the first flush of anger) we chose to focus on our hearts and send love to ourselves and the world while affirming that today you choose peace and love – how might that feel?

Be aware of your anger

Anger is a natural emotion. I think because we are taught to not show it or deal with it by suppressing it, that we see it as one of the not so good emotions. But all emotion is good. It just depends on how you view it. Through what lens does this emotion need to be seen?

There are triggers for all emotions. Someone loads up the metaphorical gun and shoots it. It could be a beautiful romantic scene in a film or photos of extreme cruelty.

No matter what the trigger, there will have been a thing which launches a 1000 ships into the neural pathways of your brain.

Learning to become aware of your trigger points is essential. I know quite a few of mine, and they mostly involve animals. I also know that when I do not set good boundaries and allow someone to take advantage of my kind nature – I get cross.

I’ve learned through journaling and reflecting to reframe and walk around my emotions to understand what I need to learn and what I need to do.

Because of writing, I am so much more self-aware.

Harness it

I used to think that holding anger was good. That anger was ugly and destructive, and in a way, it can be. It can help to destroy something not so great to let the young shoots of hope emerge. Once you acknowledge it and are aware of it and the triggers, you can harness that energy.

What can you learn about you and why this emotion might occasionally highjack you that you can use for something else?

Release self-judgement

Because you have anger or feel angry, it does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. When the devil dances with your demons, you have choices. Make the first one to not judge yourself. Remember you are feeling anger in the moment, just as you would joy or love.

Be aware of your emotions and experience them without judgement. Avoid adding in tales of why and who you are because you acted or felt a certain way. Simply observe.

Dig deeper into the roots

I always want to know why I acted or felt a certain way. After all of these years of writing and digging into the muck, I am used to allowing my curiosity to go on an adventure with my past. It’s in the roots of who we are and those things that have moulded us that the answers lie. 

I see the past as an encyclopedia to be referenced rather than a place to dwell. But this is only after years of writing and burning my journals and probably jumping on bits of paper with peoples names on.

Write to explore and reflect. Talk it through. Scribble and mind map. The roots will expose themselves for you to explore.

Stay connected

I am a bugger for isolating myself when I get upset. Other people find it easy to tell me all of their woes, and I am a good listener, and I think because I do this for others, I don’t want to inflict myself on them.

The truth is talking and being heard is so helpful. But you must find the right person, and they may not be your friends. When you feel like hiding under the bed and telling the world to eff off, find someone you trust and can pay to listen.

Please stay connected to the world and don’t isolate yourself.

Working from love

We may not be able to stop the things that are making us angry. However, it’s well known and well-trodden advice that we can change how we choose to respond.

Think of how much energy it takes to respond with anger. Yeah, loads. We could end up feeling drained of energy and unable to think clearly. If instead (after the first flush of anger) we chose to focus on our hearts and send love to ourselves and the world while affirming that today you choose peace and love – how might that feel?

Mirror

When you feel angry, go and find a mirror. Open your eyes, take a good hard look into them and let it rip. Watch your face contort and be a witness to your rage.  Another way to tackle this is to film yourself. Believe you me this is not attractive, but it is eye-opening. And very releasing.

Journal

I keep saying it, but this is one of the best ways to find yourself. Sit with your pen and stir the pot of inner stillness once you have released the words onto the page.

A lovely way to view your anger or any emotion from a distance is to write yourself a letter. Put it in an envelope and in a few weeks, send it to yourself. I’m sure you will be tempted to tear it up but do it.

When it arrives, you will be some time away from the event, and it will be curious reading. I wonder how you will feel?

If you think that you will not send it, do it on Moonpig, buy the card and put in a future delivery date.

Creative life writing

This is a favourite activity. Take your anger and write a piece of fiction. Be creative. Make it short with a twist at the end. There was a period of my life when I was prolific with these and boy did some people come to a nasty end.

Start sketching out your story with your challenge, what are your choices, and which outcome will you choose?

  • Challenge – What was your challenge? Why did you feel it was a challenge? It could be a challenge that you set yourself or a challenging situation.
  • Choices – Why did you make the choice you did? Choices are about our choices, not the ones you feel others forced on you, although that in itself is a choice.
  • Outcome – Why that outcome? What did you learn? What is the moral of your story? If someone reads your story, how would you want them to feel and to learn?

All you need to do is find a journal entry, connect to your muse and write a short story.

Affirmations to heal anger

  1. Today I cultivate peaceful energy in my body, heart and soul
  2. Today I transform anger into peace, love and joy and offer love to the world
  3. Today I am free of anger and angry thoughts
  4. Today I transmute the anger I feel into the energy of peace, love and joy
  5. Today I breathe out peace
  6. Today I recognise that anger is energy ready to be transformed
  7. Today when I chose peace of mind over anger my life, gets better.

Journaling promptS

When you look at the last time you were angry or upset at something, ask yourself if you were to die tomorrow, was it worth wasting your time being angry?

Explore the anger, look at it from different perspectives and ask what are you here to teach me?

What could this anger ignite in you instead?

Spell ANGER in a mindmap and explore the words you choose.

101 days of being me

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Dale Darley

Writer, journaler and coach who wants to inspire you to pick up a pen and write. Write for you and write to inspire others. Mum to three beautiful rescue dogs and cake lover.

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