Dale Darley, Author at Journaling Online - Page 2 of 2

All Posts by Dale Darley

Recognising And Celebrating Who You Are

When did you last stop and say I am celebrating who I am? I don’t mean you celebrated a birthday or anniversary, I mean you took a good look at yourself and high fived yourself for just being you.

We are all in the process of evolving and becoming a better version of who we were just a moment ago, even if it doesn’t feel like it – you are. Yet when we get to the end of the day we rarely say ‘Hey you. You did well.’

Maybe it feels strange celebrating the small stuff?

Is it perhaps that because the way that we evolve is barely noticeable that we simply sweep it under the carpet?

Take a moment to consider how you got to this point in your life. I think of it a process where we go through revolution, revelation and into evolution.

Let’s explore…

What is revolution, revelation and evolution?

Revolution is about systems and structures, evolution is about people and genetics. Systems and structures can evolve and people can revolt, but what are they really and how can we use revolution and evolution to change the way in which we lead, love and laugh?

Humans are adaptable, creative and innovative and we have an amazing ability to change and to create change. That can be abrupt and rapid change when faced with something that may be unacceptable, scary, frustrating but equally creative and innovative. Or it can be slow and considered change.

Without revolution, you cannot evolve and without evolution, there is no space to revolt. One begets the other. One is slow, the other fast. One has well placed and considered passion, the other has often has explosive and fiery passion. They are the yin and yang of life.

In the midst of revolution comes revelation which allows the unfurling of evolutionary change.

Revolution

Revolution originally comes from the way in which the planets revolve. Not that I am a scientist, but for me, that means something fairly predictable since we know that all of the planets move in typically fixed ways – they revolve around each other.

Though of course despite the planets moving in a pattern, there will always be other cosmic interruptions which do not form the norm and are therefore not predictable. And so you can imagine that as the disruptions from the skies erupted and disturbed man the word revolution changed (evolved) to mean something else.

Often when I think about revolution, what comes to mind are fights, wars, battles, disorder, governments being overthrown, blurred lines, no winners and certainly nothing remotely predictable.

But I also feel that revolutions can be born out a desire to create change quickly. People who subscribe to revolution want to crush old ways and make way for new order but not necessarily with that associated fear, frustration and anger.

Revolution can be about resolution without obliteration. Revolution can be about innovation, creativity and change for the good but with rapid growth pains.

Revelation (AKA your wake up call)

Imagine receiving a divine message, one that asks you to wake up and to uncover what is already known to you? How annoying to discover that everything was already inside of you but you just didn’t realise it.

Does knowledge accumulate or is it something that is also already known to you, but it needs slowing uncovering through life’s lessons? Consider the knowledge you will have gained as your life progresses. It appears cumulative and in small chunks. Or is it and does it matter how it comes as long as you take an active role in doing something with that knowledge?

Nothing is going to change because of the knowledge you have about a situation. What changes is the insight you gain from reflection? It is the knitting together different strands of knowledge and interweaving them with reflections that give you an epiphany and true insight.

It is through the insight you gain from each revelation that helps you to become a different person. And with your suitcase full of revelations you can start a new journey and evolve into the person you are destined to become and have always been.

Evolution

Evolution is about the gradual change of populations across generations. It is about transformation as people respond to their environment. It is a gradual development of anything. It is expansion into who you are meant to be.

What of your own personal revolution and evolution?

Think for a moment of every revolution in your life. Times of abrupt change, followed by times of quiet consideration. Eruptions, solitude, eruptions, quietude and so your personal world revolves and evolves.

Naturally and sadly your personal revolution could have been violent. Not all of the changes you go through are pleasant. Divorce, redundancy, death are just a few of life’s less fun events, but without them, there would not be an opportunity for change. These short-lived radical outbursts create pivot points for change and a time to breathe. They create opportunities for evolution. They present revelations.

If nothing had happened to me, if I hadn’t travelled this path, I wouldn’t have beautiful gifts to share. You too will receive gifts from your adventures.

And here you are, recognise how you got here

All of your life has been revolution, revelation and evolution and what is often missing is recognising and celebrating who you are. Right now is the time for this to end.

Right now is the time for you to celebrate the small stuff, the everyday stuff, the stuff that goes to make you the person you are.

How can you bring celebrating you into everyday life?

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey

I love to spell words out and use them for journaling ideas. Here’s a few for you.

Celebrating you – journaling ideas

Created

Think about what you have created today? It could be the best peanut butter and jam sandwich, but equally, it could be something that you have done that has contributed to your goals or community.

Evolution

How have you evolved today? What one small step have you taken towards your best self? Today I took the final step in celebration and took some time out to be in the now. I needed to recharge my batteries and it was certainly a gift.

Learned

What have you learned today? I have a journal that I write my lessons in life in. I ask what life lesson have I learned today? One of my lessons in life was ‘do not assume’. I had assumed something about my nutritionist and I was wrong. I am celebrating that I was open and I learned something important.

Evolve

In what ways have you evolved today? These are the small things, the ones that you rarely notice.

Brave

Bravery can be about trying something new. Perhaps something that you might not have tackled before like risking being wrong. What about setting boundaries with someone for the first time? What have you done today that is a big step in being brave?

Reflecting

One of the best ways to get clarity when journaling is to go back and read what you have written and reflected on it. It is in reflecting that you will find loads of insight and aha’s.

Adventure

So did you have an adventure today? I think every day is an adventure, even if it seems mundane. There is always something new to embrace. What happened on your adventure today?

Truth

Truth is what frees us.

“The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but I Am.” – Eckhart Tolle

Reflect on this quote and consider how you experience who you are, not as things or labels, but more – how you experience life as you.

Intuition

When you don’t listen to your intuition you will miss the good stuff. That little voice in your head is guiding you. Listen. When you listen celebrate that you did. I was driving down the mountain when my voice said go slower. I moved from 5th to 3rd and crawled into the next outcrop of houses and what did I see? A mummy Podenco with her baby crossing the road. I celebrated their lives and that I listened.

Now

We hear about being in the now all the time and yet we rarely simply sit and be with the now. Busy, busy seems to be the norm.  A reward and celebration at the end of the day is time with you. I like to end my day with meditation. It’s time to switch off and celebrate another day well-lived.

Goodness

Think of all the goodness in your life. Surely this is worth celebrating. Where did goodness show up today?

And finally a note on self-love

To be able to celebrate you I believe that you must do this from a place of self-love. When you love yourself you can achieve anything. I’ll leave you with this question – do I love myself enough to?

Journaling prompts

Grab your journal, pick one or two and explore.

  • When did you last stop and celebrate who you are?
  • How awake and aware are you, of who you are and your divine wisdom?
  • What is the biggest revelation you have had from your day (week, month, year, life)?
  • In what ways have you evolved today??
  • What did you create today that you want to celebrate?
  • What one small step have you taken towards your best self?
  • What opportunities did you seize today?
  • What have you learned today?
  • What have you done today that is a big step in being brave?
  • What boundaries did you set today?
  • When you listened to your intuition today what did you discover?
  • What have you done to switch off today? How did that work for you?
  • When will you take some time today to be in the now?
  • Where did goodness show up today?

If you love journaling and getting to the heart of who you are, you will love The Journaling Club. We’d love to welcome you in.

Lessons In Life Life: Lesson #1: It’s Ok To Be Angry

In this first lessons in life, I consider why it’s ok to be angry.

Recently I have felt a lot of anger arise quickly and dissipate just as quickly. Years ago, I would have suppressed my anger as something that was inappropriate and not to be shown. Then when I couldn’t bottle it any longer I would explode. It felt like an ugly emotion rather than an igniter.

The anger I have felt hasn’t been directed at anyone in the moment; it’s been more that I have been angry at situations that are quite beyond my control.

They have, I realise, been situations which have pulled at my heartstrings, crossed boundaries and my values. Like hearing that a puppy in our village had died of parvo, which could have been prevented had the owners vaccinated it. It hurt to think of that little life gone because of irresponsible behaviour.

But it is much deeper than that.

As a mum of 3 rescue dogs who are my life, what I felt was in reality, what if something happened to them? What if they were not here? I know that one day they won’t be here. They are so precious to me. They don’t live as long as us.

I do whatever I can to give them a good life. I am your typical doting furbaby mum; they have me very firmly wrapped around their paws.

It was the injustice that I was angry about. It was also about a life barely begun, snuffed out in such a terrible way. I felt the same way yesterday when I found a dead kitten in the rambla. I have no idea how it died. I moved it out of the path, made a grave, and said a prayer.

What I am noticing more and more is that, as soon as my anger arises, I reframe. In this recent example, I thought how do I support this family and help rehome the rest of the puppies? It felt good to witness and acknowledge the rapid rise and fall of my emotions rather than to suppress them and to consider what would be a better way to channel that feeling?

I remember, again in our village, a horrible man who thought that the reason I had come to live here was funny.

I’d left a man who was living a double life. One evening I made a horrible discovery, and six weeks later, with nowhere else to go, I came here. I travelled 1000’s of miles to a run-down old house in the hills.

This man taunted me whenever he could. One day one of my dogs had escaped the house and was near his. I came out of the house to see this man dragging my dog up the road. Ferdy was being strangled with his front paws in the air, with his back paws barely touching the road.

It really was too much for me, and a red mist descended. I went mental, much to this man’s surprise and to the surprise of the builder in my house who commented on my swearing and temper.

Was it ok to lose it? I guess it served a purpose. However, I ‘should’ have nipped this man’s nastiness in the bud from day one. I didn’t because I was raw with emotional pain. I didn’t know how to respond, and instead, I internalised it. He was in a bully, a plain, ugly, everyday bully, and I’d just left a bully, and it was just too hard to deal with.

The lessons in life I learned about anger

It’s ok to be angry and to embrace what it is showing you as long as you acknowledge it, let it go and decide on another more productive course of action.

When you reframe anger, there is always something more productive you can do.

Anger is always, to my mind, about something much deeper, and that’s where the exploration needs to be focused.

Journaling prompts

  • When do you notice your anger arising? Think situations or themes.
  • What do you learn about your anger?
  • Where do you think your anger originates?
  • Where do you think your anger is showing you? Think how these things are crossing your boundaries or values.
  • How can you reframe your anger so that it is more productive?

Anger reframe exercise

I learned about anchors on an NLP course and decided I would use them productively in my everyday life.

I choose four words for my anger:

  • Rage
  • Anger
  • Annoyed
  • Miffed

Each word was anchored to a finger. When my anger arose, I would press each finger with my thumb, while silently saying the words rage, anger, annoyed and miffed. In a few seconds, I was left barely with an emotion.

As time progressed, I was able to say the sequence in my head until eventually, all I had to say was miffed.

That’s today’s lesson in life, what do you think about anger and how you can use it to do something more productive.

Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

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